How Can Parents Support Their Children With Moving Overseas?

According to recent data, in 2024 the total Expat population in the UAE was 11.06 million. Many families move overseas due to a variety of reasons such as attractive employment opportunities, better climate, and improved education.

However, the unknown and the uncertainty of an overseas move can be a source of anxiety for parents as well as children. This article outlines ways in which parents can support their children with an overseas move, for example, by preparing children in advanced and validating any difficult feelings. 

 

What are the practical demands of moving overseas?

 

Moving overseas involves planning future living arrangements, managing budgets, and making employment decisions. For parents, there are also decisions related to education or childcare arrangements, alongside organising activities and places to explore.

It might feel as if there are endless “to-do’s” to complete back home, for example, sorting out housing and bill payments, redirecting post, giving notice to current employers and education establishments. 

 

What are the emotional demands of moving overseas?

 

Families may find themselves asking questions such as, “What if it doesn’t work out?”, “How will I make friends?”, “Will my children be happy?”. There may also be perceived losses and gains from an overseas move, for example, families may welcome the tax-free income, but feel isolated that their friends and family live back home.

It’s normal for parents and children to experience a sense of grief associated with moving to new places. It may also lead to a cycle of overthinking.

 

What can parents expect from children?

 

A child’s level of understanding of an overseas move will depend on their age. For some children, this move might be met with upcoming excitement, whilst others might experience feelings of resentment, sadness and worry.

There might also be a sense of guilt experienced by parents. It’s important to acknowledge that there are no right or wrong ways to feel in response to moving overseas. All emotions are valid. 

 

 

Tips for families moving overseas

 

1) Connect and validate difficult feelings

 

A child’s emotional development will continue to develop as they grow into young adulthood therefore they may struggle to express how they feel. Instead, this might be expressed in different ways, for example by shouting or appearing withdrawn.

Connecting with children by making eye contact and helping them to label their feelings through validation, “I see that you are feeling really upset right now”, will help them to develop skills in identifying and regulating their emotions. 

 

2) Use the child’s interests to engage them in difficult conversations

 

Creating stories and drawing, can help parents talk through the moving process. For older children, spending quality time, perhaps doing a 1:1 activity together, whether it be cooking or walking the dogs, can be a helpful way for parents to approach difficult topics. 

 

3) Give children time to prepare

 

Parents should consider preparing their child for the move in advance. This will give time for parents to help them navigate through the process and address any questions they might have about it. Story books can also help such as The Littlest Yak: Home is Where the Herd is, by Lu Fraser and Kate Hindley. 

 

4) Encourage their involvement in helping plan for the move

 

Simple requests that can help children feel that they are involved and have a voice in the process can help them to feel more prepared and gain a sense of familiarity, which can reduce anxiety along the way. Some examples include encouraging children to decide what to pack, pick their room and/or own furniture in their new home, or decide on a type of cuisine they would like to eat once they’ve landed. 

 

5) Memory lane

 

An overseas move can be associated with pain and hurt around leaving things behind such as items of sentimental value or family members. To help children continue to feel connected, create something special with them such as a scrapbook of pictures, a video of the old house or a video of somewhere special.

This process can help children to learn that it’s okay to feel discomfort, and it is also an opportunity for parents to share their feelings too. The Invisible String, by Patrice Karst is a great book to explain that loved ones are always connected no matter where they are in the world. 

 

6) Keep connected to others

 

Helping children to keep connected to their loved ones back home will make a difference to how they will feel settling into their new environment. Video calls with family members or arranging playdates with neighbours or friends, will likely increase their social network and therefore their sense of belonging. 

 

7) Create new predictable and consistent routines

 

Settling into somewhere new might require significant adjustment. Routines may develop over time, however simple routines can be implemented from the start, for example supporting the child through their usual bedtime routines. Developing a predictable routine can have a positive impact on a child’s development, helping them to feel safe and secure. 

 

8) Parent’s well-being

 

Children will likely be attuned to their parents’ emotional well-being during the moving process. If parents are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, this will likely affect their ability to be emotionally present and responsive to their children.

Just with any stressful situation, practicing self-care strategies such as noticing when emotions start to build up and taking a pause, can help parents respond in more helpful ways. Parents will have their own toolbox of strategies such as going out for a walk, drinking a cup of tea, or even listening to music, that can be helpful in reducing anxiety and stress levels.  

 

 

Final Note

 

Moving overseas as a family can be a stressful experience for all, and it is understandable that parents and children too, may struggle with the adjustment to a new environment and lifestyle. It’s important for parents to understand that it may take time to feel fully settled and that is okay.

There are steps that parents can take outlined in this article to support their children, as well as themselves, navigate through the moving process.